It's me, in the middle of chaos of freshmen schedules. Papers, organizations, issues. I am feeling grateful and excited and worn-out-ed at the same time.

Talking about issues, it is about the same issue. Issue about this college guy I like. I have no idea whether it's hormonal or not, but I keep feeling cautious these days. Cautious, and sad, and...grumpy. Like, worry too much. Still remember my last post about how I wanted to forget him? The fact is, I can't.

Well, it's not like I didn't give any effort. I tried, but I failed. It was this day when I was in the middle of my way back to class from canteen with my friend, Eba, and he was coming from the opposite way with his friend, and I was kinda in the middle of talking with Eba, and...he greeted me. My mind turned blank. I lost my words. I remained silent for like couple of minutes. I didn't continue my conversation, though I was in the middle of explaining something-class-related to Eba. (sorry Eba.. x_x)

Was I happy? No, I was not. And still remains not..

I am sad, and cautious and grumpy, and everything I can't explain. More than before. Why? Because I was ready to forget him, letting all of this feeling go. But then, I can't, I failed. And this feeling is killing me once again. Everyday, I am sad by other issues, other person, and one thing I keep thinking is him, one thing I keep missing is him. This is cheesy and creepy, I know that. I am falling fast, really really fast. And I don't expect anything down there. I can't expect anything. So, the risk I am willing to take, is getting hurt.