Here is just another mellow post.

The last three days, me is that melancholic girl once again. Which what all she can be done are just listen to every mellow musics, create many mellow posts, and other mellow-related things. I really hate that side of me. Lonely, pathetic, and self-concerned. Just like I was before, one and a half years ago.

I do not want to be that girl no more. She is real pathetic. Have no friends, no love, no one. She was lived in her own world which nobody can enter it, which nobody can even understand it. She cares nobody, but herself. Neither does care anything.

I am now is no longer able to feel any happiness, neither do joyfulness. Smile, is now the hardest job I have ever had. I might be seen laughing, but the real is I am not really laughing.  I just see that it is something that probably be funny, and so I see my friends laugh, I just laugh the way they laugh. Not because I really think or understand that it is funny.

Everything feels....numb. I can barely feel something. Something that really makes me feel 'something'.

One thing that I miss the most: What We Were Before. 

Before it happens; Before everything has suddenly changed, and everything about us now is tears.

I miss every single moment we had in the past. Even the simplest one. When we were sitting in my class's balcony, waited for my course's class. When it was still awkward for the both of us. When you and I were have nothing to talk about. When all that were accompanying us is just a silence. When we were knowing nothing, but each other. :(

It may be the simplest, but for me, it is the sweetest.