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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Well, hello. It's me. And gloominess seems to struck my head again. It hurts me deep down inside.

Popularity, huh?
Well, I don't know.
I don't quite understand where exactly do I stand in my social system of my campus life.
Miss popular? Nah, I don't think so.
Well, but here's the thing:
Every single day ever since the beginning of my campus life, I've been trying reallllly hard to be nice to anybody. I've been trying really, really, really hard. I've been trying to make some friends here and there, but.....none of them seem to work...
I don't understand.
I've been trying..to be nice to anybody, but it just seems to draw them even further away. I feel that even I've been trying to be hell of nice to anybody, none of them seem to grow to like me. Even so, I've been always feeling that I've been always talked behind me...that I've been talked so many bad things behind me..
All of these thoughts have been always got me thinking, "What did I do wrong to them?" " Where  did I do wrong?" "What did I do that they hate me so much?" "What did I do wrong?"....

I just don't understand...they all just seem to be so nice in front of me, but in all social media I've been involved in, I've always been feeling rejected, I've been always got this feeling that they talk behind me on the very next day. It's not like I'm such a social media junkie but it seems that nowadays social media is a way to map how well you are received by the society, and it's not that I'm craving for popularity, I just can't stand the feeling of people bad-mouthing me behind and the hateful feeling they give me. I can't stand having people hate me without me knowing the reason why or where did I do wrong..

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