I met him on a sunny day in September. Well, not met 'met'. It was more like he bbm-ed me, we dealt on a meet up in campus, and before I knew what everything was, it just happened. He is 4 years older, a senior in my campus, and of course, he is already a doctor now. When I was met him, he was on his final year of co-assistant, on his way of final graduation and taking the Ujian Kompetensi Dokter Indonesia (Indonesian Doctors Competency Exam). 

A story behind that is much more complicated. Or...sweet? I don't know, you tell me, haha. 

SO, he told me that he saw me in this welcoming party of a catholic peer group in my campus. I was a freshmen. Still a really really clueless girl in campus, in that group, did not know anyone. That welcoming party, anyway, was held by me and my friends from the same year. It's like the tradition in that group that the youngest got to be the ones that hold the wp. So, I, honestly, really didn't see him on that wp. Hahahaha. I was busy making the welcoming party worked. Then, after he saw me, he asked his friend to go after my blackberry pin. His friend got it, he added it, a year later he sent that bbm on one day in September, we met, end of story. Lol.

He........is just like God's answer to my prayer.

Yes, I had been praying for months asking for a..mate. Not boyfriend, not husband, a mate. One that God's given, God's planned, God's made for me. Yap, just for me. 

He is like no other. Kind, caring, intelligent, honest, wise, patient (going with me usually is nerve-wrecking so having this is an extra benefit), so brother-ish (you know, I kinda having an obsession of having an older brother), loving, and handsome (this I count as a bonus from God, not the main point that I concern).

So, yea, I love him. He is just like God's Greatest Blessing in my life.

Habis baca postingan-bersambung nya ms. tyka tentang cinta itu butuh alasan yang berdasarkan pada kejadian di kelas saya, XI IPA 3, waktu mam nya lagi ngajar. Menurut mam nya-yang waktu itu bener2 ngga mau kalah debat- (-.-) cinta itu harus punya alasan. Supaya, si perasaan naksir itu worthed dinaikin pangkatnya jadi cinta, dan, supaya kita nggak terjebak sama yang namanya cinta buta alias cinta yang udah nggak peduli apapun: bah playboy, bah beda agama, bah jahat, nek cinta yo cinta.

Hmmmh...About that...I realized that that's who I am. I love for no reason. Firstly, I like him physically, then, I love him. Jadi, kadang kalo temen2ku liat aku lagi bertengkar tapi terus bertahan, mereka sering nanya, "kamu cinta dia apanya sih, co". Honestly, I can't find the answer. 

Mam nya sekali bilang di kelas kalau itu namanya bodoh. Dan waktu itu rasanya jadi pengen nangis. Heheh. *Peace ya mam* Tapi waktu itu bener2 deh rasanya mukaku kaya ditonjok. --a

Terus kemudian aku liat postingan mam nya tentang Cinta Butuh Alasan itu. Penasaran, dibaca deh-agak mentolo sih, nyambung2 banyak gitu-sampe abis. And....it does make sense. Aku butuh alasan untuk mencintai. Teramat sangat butuh.

Then, she wrote this,

Sometimes, fate is being so RUDE and HARD on me. Being?....or Playing?... I don't care. I don't even understand both of it. They're all just playing with my heart. 

Well, well, well.

I remember it very very clearly if one year ago, it was me who had been desperately searching for my PAST. But NOW, when I decided to start letting all of my past go, including all of my hurt feeling and every single pieces of my hatred heart, they are just coming one by one to me. They bumped into me, they found me.

Then now what? I am just not ready if I would be hurt by them again. By my past.

So, it is a FATE or a COINCIDENCE?

I woke up this morning feel all grumpy and dizzy. I dont have any spirit to face my day today. I am feeling badmood all the time. 

And you know what? I think I'm gonna throw up right now.

No, I'm not.

Akh. My mood doesn't get better at all. The problem. Is still there. No, problems. I dont know how to fix it out. My mind is just....blank.

I have been dizzy since 2 days ago and haven't gotten better even now. I can't keep focus on anything. The best thing  to do should be sleep. But I'm on class now. I have lessons to catch.  Akh. Maybe  I will sleep if I have chance.

What was that ????

Hahahahahahaahaha.

Oh my gosh. I feel like wanna scream, jump, laugh, sleep ('coz I am really tired right now), everything at the same time. I dont even know how to express this feeling with the right words. I just can't find it!

Oh my God.

That's the only thing I can say. Please, anyone tell me what that was. It's all wet. wet.

gaaaaaaaaaaaah

God, I lost all of my vocabs, my words. I keep yell and yell all the time.

I think I'm just gonna take a sleep. Let it be a dream. Let it be gone just the way it has to. Not give it too much thought. Wow. I still can't believe it happened. What I can do now  is just daydreaming, not believsng the memory I have.

*yawn

I am really tired. I have been gone from my home since 8 in the morning and just got home at 8 in the evening. It has been a day for me.

Haha.

Today really was a fairytale. :)

Good night all.

for my class-next-door-boy. the one I had been fallen in love with. the one whom I experienced unrequited love with.

Happy 17th Birthday !

I'm sorry I couldn't say it out loud, directly to you. Because it's just too akward to meet you and greet you by person.

Wish you all the best. :)

oke. 3 hari kemarin aku bener2 sial setengah mati.

hari jumat, pulang dari TP ke GO abis nonton newmoon (lagi) sama bibo naek taksi, aku kehilangan dompet. gara gara si dompet ketinggalan di taksi. udah taksinya ngga jelas. jadi ngga bisa telpon atau lapor kemana mana. pas di kelas GO, aku mutusin charge hape orang. ngga sengaja tak dudukin. bego ya?

hari sabtu malam, aku di madiun. mau ngadirin mantenan sodara. tapi aku nyampenya malem. jadi ya nanggung gitu dateng ke acaranya. fudge.

hari minggu, ngabisin waktu di madiun dengan sia-sia. modem yang tak bawa sama sekali ngga berfungsi.

hari senin, pulang ke surabaya. pas nyampe di krian, sekitar jam 8, rem mobil rusak. ngga bisa dibawa terus mobilnya, soalnya kalo dipaksa remnya kebakar. --". akhirnya mobil dititipin di tukang tambal ban deket deket situ. kaya orang mbambung (sekitar jam 9) nyari taksi ato tumpangan. dan akhirnya nemu "sewaan" mobil seharga Rp 225.000,-. dan akhirnya sampe di rumah jam 10.15

besoknya, langsung sekolah lagi. --""

Ganti template.

Karena ngerasa udah bosen sama template yang udah kupake selama berbulan bulan itu.

Anyway, aku sendiri ngerasa kalo templateku kebanyakan model scrapbook ato diary.

I dont know either why I choose those themes. It's kinda cute, I suppose. And, cool? haha. I start blabbering again. Something I usually do recently. Still, dont know why.

Look I was blabbering again while I told you that I started blabbering.

Gah.

Aku di kamar adekku, blogging. Kenapa di kamar adekku? Karena laptopnya lagi disitu. Dipake adekku tadinya, terus dia pergi. Ngga tau kemana. Ya udah, pake aja.

Terus aku nyium bau masakan. Aku turun ke bawah. Ternyata papaku yang masak. wew. Dan aku menghampirinya.

Tiba tiba papaku nyeletuk,"Bentar ya sayang, ini papa bikin fuyunghai sama empal. Dedek masih beli sayurnya."

jdaang.. syok aku. hahaha. Kenapa papaku tiba tiba kaya gitu ya? hahaha. Langsung aku pergi ke tempat lain, berusaha megalihkan perhatian.

Ada apa dengan papaku?

Well, actually I'm kinda love it.

Love you, Daddy.